


Our Story

by RadioBlahBlahs



Category: Queen (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Coming Out, First Time, Flashbacks, Fluff, M/M, Mentions of Sex, froger - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:48:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24815578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RadioBlahBlahs/pseuds/RadioBlahBlahs
Summary: Now an old man, Roger Taylor never thought that he would speak of his first love, the greatest love he's ever had ever again. Until one day, while visiting, his granddaughter Anna discovers an old photo album filled with pictures of her grandfather and a man she's never seen before happily in love. When confronted about the pictures, Roger begins to tell her their love story, and how something so bright and precious burned out and turned bitter.This is a Froger love story! In this AU the four of them are not together as a band but are doing separate things for the premise of this story. This story is being re-uploaded from my Wattpad account on to here and it is currently still ongoing. **Note there may be a slight difference in editing in this version from the Wattpad version since I'm currently fixing up some small errors*
Relationships: Freddie Mercury/Roger Taylor
Comments: 4
Kudos: 18





	1. How It All Began

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While spending the day at her grandfather's house, Anna Taylor discovers a mysterious leather photo album tucked away on a bookshelf. When confronted with its contents, Roger is prompted to start telling his granddaughter the story of his previous relationship with a man that he kept a secret for decades after it ended.

_Present Day_

Long, delicate fingers ghosted along the albums lined within the old wooden bookshelf in the den. Never before had Anna Taylor even gave the bookshelf a second thought for as long as she had been coming to her grandfather's house, which was all of her life, a whole 18 years. Now she had time to spare as her grandfather prepared tea in the next room. As she drifted around the room, waiting for him to emerge with the tea, she found herself looking around and that's when her attention focused on the shelf that held albums full of precious memories.

There were albums that were labeled appropriately, with the names of her aunts and uncles even her father's name which all contained various things from pictures and papers of each child growing up. Some albums were labeled with years spanning from the '60s. One particular book caught Anna's interest. It was a small, leather-strapped album that Anna couldn't ever recall seeing. It didn't even have a date on it and it was partially hidden. Perhaps it was just filled with random memories that weren't dated or had a place. Surely her grandfather wouldn't mind if she had a look.

Carefully, Anna wiggled the book out of it's tightly wedged spot beside the other albums. Her blue eyes looked it over before she popped up the straps of the album and peeped inside. Of course, she was right, the album was nothing more than an assortment of candid photos of her grandfather and his friends. Anna was not prepared for the sight of one of the next pictures in the album. She flipped to it near the end and was slightly puzzled. It was a photo of her grandfather as a young man with that wild hair that was oh so popular in the '70s. But that's not what confused her. The sight of him kissing up to another nameless man is what confused her. Anna flipped to the next photo and sure enough, it had the same strange man from the previous picture. This time though, the man was behind her grandfather, hugging around his slender waist as they smiled into the camera. The next few pictures were the same case, pictures of her grandfather and that man, clearly happily in love. Since when had her grandfather ever been attracted to men? He was always presumed to be a ladies man. She couldn't ever remember her grandfather telling her stories about this man, she was certain he wasn't Brian or John. No, he was someone entirely different.

"Sorry for the wait." Her grandfather came from the kitchen with a tray in his hands, two steaming porcelain cups resting on it. "You know, I never was as good as your grandmother when it came to making tea." There was a lighthearted laugh in his voice.

"Grandpa," Anna began, still flipping through the small album, "Who is this man?"

Anna looked to him and turned the album for him to see a picture of his younger self cuddled up with the man in question. Any trace of a smile faltered from Roger's face. He set down the tray and reached out for the album. Once it was in his hands, he closed up the album, doing up the leather straps.

"It doesn't matter Anna." Roger said softly, "Now let's have that tea before it gets cold, you aren't visiting for long."

"I wouldn't mind hearing about that man while we have tea," Anna said honestly, at this point their identical eyes were looking into each other. "Grandpa you can't say it didn't matter, not when I've just seen those pictures. That did _not_ look like nothing."

There was a long silence between them before Roger looked down at the still closed album in his hands. The situation had caught him completely off guard. He assumed the small album could be easily overlooked on the shelf, something no one would bother to even take a second look at. Only he and his two mates knew about the album and its contents. Roger only ever put the album up on the shelf after his wife had passed away. Never would he have imagined that his granddaughter would flip through it and ask about... Him.

Roger contemplated whether or not he should tell Anna, even though she was a gentle and understanding young lady. The only people who knew of the situation were John and Brian. It was something that Roger hadn't even told his wife during her lifetime, he never planned on telling her. But it was too late to turn back now. Anna had seen the album and he knew she would be persistent to know. Roger's breath was shaky but he nodded. He would tell her the story of his greatest love.

"Alright- Alright I'll tell you about him." Roger found that the words almost lifted a weight off of his soul. He hadn't spoken about the man in decades and never thought he would for the rest of his life. But that proved to be false.

Granddaughter and grandfather sat beside each other on the couch, the tea nearly forgotten on the coffee table in front of them. It took a moment, but Roger finally brought himself to open up the clasps of the album. He skipped some photos until he got to the first one of him and his past lover. A wrinkled finger gently caressed the image of the man's face while he let out a sigh. It was clear that this may have been painful for her grandfather to talk about which only deepened Anna's curiosity about the man. She offered a gentle hand on his shoulder and Roger showed her a smile in return.

"This is a picture of our kiss at Brian's birthday party in 1975," Roger said, the memories started flooding his mind. "His name was Farrokh but he went by Freddie."

* * *

_London, November 5th, 1973_

The train station was flooded with busy passengers and Roger thought there was nothing he hated more. As much as he hated the bustling of the commuters, he had no choice but to stand in the least crowded place right outside. Brian needed a ride from the station back to their shared apartment, he hated wasting money on cabs and Roger understood that.

It seemed as though Brian chose the busiest day of the year to travel back to the city. A sigh left Roger's lips as he brought a pale hand to his jacket pocket. He reached for a cigarette, in desperate need of a smoke. In a few moments, it was lit up and Roger was taking in puffs of smoke to his lungs.

 _'What's taking him so long? Maybe his train's delayed_. _'_ Roger thought as he pulled a drag from his cigarette.

Next time he would opt to just pay for the damn cab himself. Roger was in the midst of his thoughts before he felt a tap to his shoulder.

 _'Finally.'_ Is what Roger thought, assuming it was Brian. To his surprise, it was not Brian in the slightest. The man was much shorter than Brian, and nearly a few years older than him. He had long, raven black hair and deep brown eyes that reminded him of dark chocolate. Roger had never seen him before a day in his life. The man held up an unlit cigarette and the right corner of his lips tugged into a slight grin.

"Sorry to bother you but, may I have a light?" The man asked.

Roger noticed that his accent sounded slightly strange.

"Of course," Roger replied, having already eyed the man up and down.

Roger fished the small lighter from his jacket pocket before he offered it to the man who accepted it gratefully. After having lit up his cigarette, the man handed Roger back his lighter with yet another 'thank you'.

After taking a long drag from his cigarette, the man, who for some reason was still standing beside Roger decided to make small talk. Roger hated small talk, it always felt so forced, so awkward.

"The weather out here is rather dull isn't it?" The man spoke up.

"Mm." Roger hummed in response with a nod of his head.

A silent moment passed between them.

"Oh I'm so terribly sorry, where are my manners?" The man apologized, "I'm Freddie." The man held out his hand for Roger to shake.

With one eyebrow raised, Roger eyed the man- Freddie- again before meeting his hand for a shake.

"Roger." The blond simply stated.

"Roger." Freddie repeated with a nod and a friendly smile, "Nice to have met you."

"Likewise," Roger replied before taking a drag from the cigarette between his fingers.

"Is there a reason why you're just standing out here in the cold, darling?" Freddie asked then took a long slow drag.

Roger blew out a cloud of smoke before responding, "Well I'm not doing it for the fun of it if that's what you're asking." There was a grin on his face and Freddie chuckled, "I'm waiting for a friend of mine."

Freddie nodded, flicking ashes down, "Well I hope he comes before you turn blue." There was a teasing yet playful tone in his voice.

Freddie took a quick glance at the gold watch around his wrist and a rather dramatic sigh left his lips.

"Ah my train is arriving, I should get going." Freddie began while quickly flicking his cigarette to the ground, "Thank you for the light, darling!"

Before Roger got the chance to say 'you're welcome', Freddie had set out to the inside of the station. At the same time, a slew of passengers came pouring from the station, scattering about around Roger as they went in several directions. In a matter of moments, a familiar voice called to Roger.

"Roger! Sorry I kept you waiting," It was Brian's friendly voice, "My train got delayed at the station before this one."

Roger turned to look at his mate. The taller man was showing a bright smile and the corners of his eyes crinkled in delight. The smile was infectious and Roger smiled in return. Roger flicked his cigarette to the ground just as Freddie had done a few minutes before him.

"Ah don't worry about it Bri. Now let's get going, I'm starting to freeze." Roger told him which earned a nod from his friend.

Roger didn't say a word about the strange man he had met outside the station earlier. He didn't think the encounter mattered and hardly saw it as conversation-worthy over the drive to their flat.

* * *

The next day had rolled around rather quickly in Roger's opinion. He always dreaded workdays and today was no exception. Especially since he had an early shift as opposed to his usual late afternoon shift at the boutique he worked for. It was nearly 9:00 am when he unlocked the door to the front of the shop. The only advantage of opening the store during the morning was that it wasn't too busy so early.

For the most part, the shop did seem painfully slow this time around. The first customers were a pair of ladies who came in browsing the racks intensely, asking Roger on his opinion on which dress looked better from their pile of choices. Roger had never really been a 'fashionista', the only reason he took this job was that he was fresh out of college and desperately needed the money. Though he did try his best with the girls and they thanked him for his help before making a purchase. The next customer was a rather sweet old lady who looked around the racks in the shop before leaving without making a purchase. After she left, there weren't any customers for at least an hour. Secretly, Roger was thankful for a slow day no matter how terribly boring it felt.

It was around 11:30 am when the next customer had come in. Roger was engrossed in a magazine while he leaned against the counter in the front of the store. His fingers had just flipped to the next glossy page when he heard the noisy tinkering of the chimes above the shop door. Roger's eyes quickly looked up to greet the customer but he was at a loss for words when he saw Freddie standing near the door already looking at rack nearby. Freddie looked up to Roger at the counter and his brown eyes perked up with delight. He hadn't expected to run into Roger again while shopping around.

"Blondie! It's Freddie from yesterday, remember outside of the station?" Freddie began, trotting up to the register where Roger stood.

Roger's nose crinkled up slightly at the name 'blondie' seeing as though no one had called him that before. Though he was sure it was simply because Freddie had forgotten his name. Roger closed the magazine in front of him after folding the top corner to mark his page and he looked up to Freddie.

"Yes, I do remember." Roger nodded, "And it's Roger by the way."

"I know, darling," Freddie said with a smile.

So he hadn't forgotten, Blondie was just a pet name. For how many ever times they were to meet again, Roger hoped it wouldn't become a habit of Freddie's. Freddie walked a few feet away to a nearby rack full of scarves and marveled at them causing Roger to smile at his reaction.

"These are all so wonderful!" Freddie picked up one, a red silk scarf with a floral pattern all over. "I can hardly believe that you work here." He glanced at Roger, "You hardly seem like the fashionable type. No offense, dear."

Freddie's voice was smooth as silk, almost a representation of the scarf he still held in his hands. Roger would be lying if he said he wasn't slightly mesmerized by it. Roger laughed lightly at his words and waved it off.

"No offense taken." Roger replied, "The money isn't so bad, it's the only reason I work here. Wouldn't want to be homeless now would I?"

"No, I suppose not." Freddie nodded in agreement, a slight smile on his lips.

The two chatted idly for the next 15 minutes about nothing of particular importance. Freddie looked all around the shop, inspecting some jackets on the racks while he talked to Roger about various topics and told him a handful of wild stories. Roger was happy for a small bit of company during such a boring workday. Admittedly, Freddie was an interesting character. Certainly, he had many stories to tell, and the way he told them with such flair. Perhaps interesting was an _understatement_.

When it came time for Freddie to leave, the man glanced at his gold watch like he had done yesterday and his brow furrowed.

"Is it already noon? Ah, I really should get going. Could you ring these up for me, darling?" Freddie said, trotting up to the counter with a black and yellow floral print jacket and the red silk scarf from earlier.

"Sure thing." Roger nodded as he checked the prices on the items.

Freddie observed him for a moment as he punched in the prices of the items onto the register keys. Roger's face was oddly delicate for a man. He had the bluest eyes Freddie had ever seen, positively lovely. Before Freddie could notice any more, Roger called out his total and placed the items neatly in a bag for him. Freddie took out his wallet and gave him the appropriate amount.

"I was wondering, dear." Freddie spoke up as he collected his bag, "Perhaps you would like to go out for a drink tonight?"

Roger was taken back slightly by the question and he thought it over for a brief moment. He didn't know what it was but there was just something about Freddie that drew Roger to him. Was it his charming personality? Perhaps his good nature? Or maybe even his distinctive looks? Whatever it was, it pushed Roger to accept his invitation to a friendly night out at the pub.

"Splendid, meet me at the pub across the street later at seven," Freddie chirped as he walked to the door. "See you later tonight, Blondie!"

Before Roger got the chance to protest against the nickname yet again, Freddie was out the door with a wave of his hand goodbye.


	2. A Little Feeling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger and Freddie go out to the pub together for the first time and Roger becomes fascinated with him. Roger realizes that he's starting to feel the slightest bit of something for the eccentric man who quite suddenly waltzed into his life.

_November 5th, 1973, later the same day_

The rest of Roger's shift came as a blur to him. Once Freddie had left at noon, things seemed even slower in the shop than before. The remainder of his shift consisted of only five more shoppers at the most. Even though Roger was quite satisfied with being alone during his shift, it still became rather boring after a few hours.

It was nearly 3 pm when Roger's coworker, a petite redheaded woman, came into the boutique to work the next shift. Roger waved the girl off before heading out of the store, making the chimes above the door jingle about. Roger had noticed it was a particularly cold day for November once his hand left the warmth of his denim jacket pocket. Roger checked the time, he still had several hours to kill before seeing that Freddie guy again later that night. For a moment, Roger thought about the long wait and nearly decided to blow the guy off on his offer. But for some odd reason, Roger felt that was an awfully mean thing to do, to have Freddie show up to the bar only not to make an appearance. So, groaning to himself as he paced down the London block, Roger decided that he would meet Freddie after all. 

* * *

Roger turned up to the bar earlier than he had intended, he rolled in around 6:30 pm after having wasted time outside beforehand. He could've just as easily went home after his shift but no, there was a small part of him that wanted to get to know this Freddie character.

"Oh blondie, you made it!"

It was nearly 6:50 pm and Roger was already finishing his first beer when he heard the voice. His head turned to meet Freddie's teasing gaze in front of the booth. Again, Roger's nose crinkled slightly at the pet name but he figured he ought to get used to it if he was to become friends with Freddie. It didn't seem like the man would be giving it up anytime soon.

"And you're early? I suppose you were just dying to see me, hm?" Freddie said jokingly.

Roger scoffed, "Sure that's exactly what it was." He replied sarcastically before sipping from his almost empty beer bottle.

Freddie let out a small laugh, raising a hand to cover his mouth which Roger thought was odd.

"I'll go get us a few drinks, I'll be right back!" Freddie declared before scurrying off to the bar.

It was no less than 5 minutes later before the eccentric man returned with a few beers for the two of them. They did a small clink of their bottles before idly chatting to one another as they had done earlier in the boutique. Roger found that Freddie was oddly good at storytelling when it came to recalling the shenanigans he experienced throughout his day. Never before had Roger been so into small talk which he usually hated. Freddie made it interesting. It seemed as if he made everything interesting.

For a while, they'd talked about their respective hobbies. Roger learned that Freddie was quite a talented musician though he was very modest about it. Freddie told him that he played the piano here and there and knew about three chords on the guitar. He also added that he had a habit of singing subconsciously while he was occupied doing just about anything. Roger, almost like an excited puppy, told Freddie in return that he could play the drums pretty well and liked to sing too, well mostly in the shower. That had earned him a laugh from Freddie. They then went on chatting about their music tastes for at least a half-hour and bonded through that alone. 

At some point in the evening, Freddie asked about what Roger had studied in college and the younger man told him about how he changed majors before deciding on biology. In turn, Freddie told him that he studied art and graphic design and graduated some years ago. Roger was even impressed to hear that Freddie, for a living, created and sold artwork around London. It surely seemed more interesting than the cashier work that he did. Everything about Freddie seemed just so damn interesting. It was almost pathetic how Roger clung on to the man's every word.

Towards the end of the night, after a few beers, the two went right outside the bar for a smoke before they were to part ways for the night. It felt below zero outside, the temperature had indeed dropped. Roger's hands were nearly numb as he took drags of his cigarette.

"Blondie, your lips are turning blue." Freddie laughed out at the sight of a shivering Roger.

Freddie was merely wearing a short multicolored knitted jacket held by a sash across his midsection. Even his chest was slightly exposed. Roger could never understand how he was so unaffected by the cold, truly he was something else. 

"How are you not cold?" Roger wondered with a laugh, though there was a slight shiver in his voice.

"Guess I just have more.. body heat than you," Freddie replied rather boldly as he eyed Roger up and down. 

The words made Roger's face heat up a bright red color, redder than it already was from the numbing cold. He quickly brought the cigarette to his lips out of pure nervousness. Freddie seemed to notice Roger's face redden and a heavenly laugh escaped his lips.

"Oh, I'm just teasing!" Freddie said, flicking ashes to the ground.

Usually, Roger was a sweet-talking ladies man to put it simply. He never got tongue-tied, he never stuttered and he certainly was never at a loss for words when it came to women. If it had been a woman that said something like that, he would've come up with something witty to say right back. Instead, he couldn't find anything to say, his body was still nervous for some odd reason. Why did this practical stranger have this effect on him? Well... he couldn't say he didn't know _exactly_ why it was more so that he tried to avoid this familiar feeling. 

Freddie had gone into talking about something, a story about an ex-girlfriend when Roger took a moment to study the man as he had done already several times that day. Freddie had such a warm feel to him, Roger thought he just radiated charisma. And yet at the same time, he looked like the gentlest soul. Almost polar opposites in one.

"Isn't that just the strangest thing?" Freddie suddenly asked, interrupting Roger's daydreaming.

"Oh- Oh yea it is." Roger nodded, though he hadn't been paying much attention to him.

Freddie flicked his cigarette to the ground before he spoke again, "You wouldn't mind giving me a ride back to my flat, would you? I'd hate to walk, darling. I'm a little drunk." He laughed out the last part.

"You didn't drive here?" Roger asked, flicking out his own cigarette.

"I couldn't even if I tried- I don't have a license." Freddie laughed yet again.

Roger chuckled, "What do you mean you don't have a license?" At that point, the two were walking back to Roger's car parked down the block.

"Well you see- I started to take my test but I ended up driving in the wrong direction so I simply got out the car and said, ' _fuck it darling!_ ' Driving is not my thing." Freddie explained.

The story had Roger laughing until they reached the car. He got in the driver's side and Freddie got in the passenger side beside him. They warmed up for a few moments before Roger pulled out the parking space and began driving. Freddie gave him the address and told him which streets he'd seen the drivers go down when he was in a cab. Freddie fiddled with the buttons on the radio, playing various songs on a low, comfortable volume and Roger was thankful that it broke some of the silence.

"You know, you're a surprisingly good driver. Even though you have knocked back a few beers." Freddie spoke up halfway through the drive. "Maybe you'll just have to teach me how to drive one day."

Roger picked up on the slightly flirtatious tone in Freddie's voice and tried calming his nerves. Still, his hands did shake slightly from their place on the steering wheel. Roger reminded himself that Freddie was a bit tipsy and probably didn't even mean to say these things the way that he did. Roger didn't want to think about why Freddie's voice was making him so nervous. If he was being honest, he normally tried to push away any romantic feelings he had towards men. And right now, he was trying to push away that affect Freddie had on him.

Nearly five minutes later, they reached Freddie's flat and Roger parked right outside.

"Thank you so much for the ride, blondie!" Freddie said cheerfully.

"Ah, no problem, Freddie," Roger replied, a smile on his face.

"I'll see you around then, darling." Freddie said as he got out of the car.

Roger watched as Freddie walked up to the entrance of the building and opened the door with a set of keys. Once he was inside safely, Roger drove off away from the building. Was it odd to feel like he and Freddie were already friends? They'd only known each other for two days in total but Roger felt like he'd know the guy forever. Maybe it wasn't so weird. He had to admit, he did feel like that with John and Brian when he first met them too. Roger just shrugged it off as a sign that he and Freddie would be fast friends, maybe even best friends if he was lucky. The thought of becoming even more popped into his mind but Roger tried not to think about that outcome which seemed rather silly.

* * *

_November 14th, 1973_

It had been a little over a week since Roger and Freddie went to the pub together. Roger had mentally kicked himself for not giving Freddie his number. They'd only hung out once and yet he missed Freddie's company. But they'd failed to exchange numbers which meant they had no way to invite each other to hang out. Roger was almost certain that he wouldn't be seeing much of Freddie for a while, that is if he ever saw him again.

That morning, the boutique was actually quite busy and Roger loathed it. At around 11 am, there were around 5 people in the shop at once and Roger was helping one of them decide which dress she should buy. The lady was torn between one with polka dots and the other with stripes. Personally, Roger didn't think either looked good but he was still trying to help as best as he could.

"Oh, I just don't know." The woman huffed, "The polka dot one looks good but it's just lacking something that one with stripes has, right?"

"Uh, I think the one with stripes looked good on you," Roger said, hoping his words would make the woman finally decide.

The lady began talking again just as the chimes above the door jingled. _Great another customer_ , Roger thought, nearly rolling his eyes. Roger turned his head to look at whoever came in and he was more than surprised to see Freddie looking around at the front of the shop. Perhaps he was looking for Roger. When Freddie eventually did see Roger, he grinned showing off a few prominent teeth.

"Blondie!" Freddie called out, causing all shopper's attention to go on him.

"Excuse me one moment- I'll be right back miss," Roger told the woman he was helping before scurrying off.

Roger made his way to Freddie near the front of the shop, the older man seemed simply delighted to see him. That smile was infectious and Roger showed one right back at him.

"Hey Freddie, what- what are you doing here?" Roger asked.

"Oh I was just shopping around," Freddie said, jiggling the various shopping bags lined up on his right arm, "And I remembered that you worked here in this cute little boutique so I thought, 'why, I have to go say hi to blondie!'," Freddie explained.

"You stopped by just to say hi, _oh Freddie you shouldn't have._ " Roger joked rather dramatically causing Freddie to laugh.

"And- I was also wondering if you wanted to come over to my flat tonight for a couple of drinks." Freddie told him.

Roger had almost too eagerly told him 'yes' but he quickly remembered that he did have plans with John and Brian to go out later that evening. And he knew he would feel just awful if he blew them off today. The three of them hadn't really had a day to hang out due to their very busy conflicting schedules.

"I can't, I'm supposed to be going to the pub with my roommates later." Roger told him.

"Well bring them along, darling! We can _all_ have drinks at my flat." Freddie insisted.

"Err... Are you sure?" Roger asked.

"Yes, of course I'm sure! I can't wait to meet them, darling." Freddie said, he smiled and brought a hand up to cover his mouth out of habit.

"Okay well, then I'll see you later tonight, Freddie." Roger nodded.

"Oh wait!" Freddie exclaimed before fishing into his jacket pocket for something. "Here!" He pulled out a small paper with some writing on it.

Roger took it from Freddie's hand and looked it over. It was Freddie's address and phone number- something he'd forgotten to give him the first time they'd gone out for drinks.

"Oh right- Thanks, I forgot your address, it's been a week," Roger said truthfully.

"I figured you would." Freddie scoffed, a grin on his face, "And my number's there too, darling. Feel free to call me whenever you'd like."

Roger loathed the fact that his face slightly heated up at the words. He nodded in response and shoved the paper in the back pocket of his trousers.

"See you later tonight, dear." Freddie grinned before waving him off, the silver bangles around his wrist jingled as he did so.

Tonight was going to be interesting.

* * *

"I have to warn you guys, Freddie's a bit uhh eccentric," Roger told the guys just as they pulled up to the outside of Freddie's flat.

"What do you mean?" John laughed from the back seat.

"He gives off a very... diva-like vibe." Roger shrugged from his seat before they all got out of the car.

"Well, we put up with you on a daily basis so I'm sure we'll be fine with him for a night." Brain laughed as they walked up to the entrance.

"Oh piss off." Roger rolled his eyes before pressing Freddie's apartment number on the intercom.

They were buzzed in almost immediately and found themselves at Freddie's front door within a matter of moments. Roger was the one to knock on the door and only a few seconds had passed before Freddie answered.

"Blondie, you made it!" Freddie cheered.

Roger could hear his roommates snicker at the nickname behind him. They'd never heard Roger be called 'Blondie' before. Honestly, Roger was starting to warm up to the nickname, whether he liked it or not. Okay so maybe a small part of him _did_ actually like the pet name.

"I told you I'd be here." Roger replied as they all stepped into Freddie's apartment, "Oh these are my mates, Brian and John."

"Nice to meet you both!" Freddie said with a little smile as he shook both of their hands and there went the familiar sound of the bangles on his wrists.

Roger took a moment to look around Freddie's small apartment. It was actually quite stylish. The living room was very colorful from the fabricated couches to the paintings on the walls. The recurring color in the room was yellow so Roger figured that had to be his favorite. Roger could see a bit of the kitchen from where they were standing at the door, it looked very yellow much like the living room from what he could see. So yellow was _definitely_ his favorite color. Before they could go to the living room, Roger felt something brush against his legs. When he looked down, there was a very fluffy white and grey cat rubbing up against him.

"Oh, you have a cat?" Brian perked up, he was a cat lover.

"Yes! That's my little darling, Tiffany." Freddie beamed before walking over to pick her up.

"Come let's sit in the living room and I'll get the drinks," Freddie said.

Brian, Roger, and John took seats on the couches in the living rooms and Freddie plopped Tiffany down beside them before heading back to the kitchen.

John looked to make sure Freddie was out of earshot before turning to his mates.

"I think he's really nice," John said with a smile.

"Yea he's an alright bloke so far." Brian nodded as he pet Tiffany beside him.

For some reason, Roger was immediately relieved to hear that his mates were enjoying Freddie so far. Maybe they would have more friendly get-togethers if tonight went well. although he knew that it would, Freddie was too charming _not_ to like.

Once Freddie returned with a few bottles of beer and a bottle of vodka (not to mention an orange cat behind him that he called Oscar), the four of them began to drink the night away and exchange stories. Freddie told Brian and John a lot about himself that he had told Roger a week ago. It seemed that the two were just as interested in Freddie as Roger had been that night. By 11 pm, they'd finished quite a few beers between themselves. Roger skipped out on the vodka seeing as though he was the designated driver. Roger was more than happy to see Brian, John, and Freddie getting along well and laughing with each other while drinking through shots of vodka.

"So Freddie," Brian spoke up, at this point, Tiffany was nestled in the man's lap while he stroked her fur, "You mentioned that you're an artist? What's that like?"

"Oh, yes darling, I do paint for a living." Freddie nodded, "I can tell you now, it's far better than a desk job." He chuckled before motioning to the paintings on the wall behind them, "I made those up on the wall."

The three of them whipped their heads back to look at the three small paintings that were hung up. They were portraits of people all done in watercolors. Each painting had a different color scheme, one was yellow, the other blue and the last was red. Roger didn't think that that was Freddie's work when he first saw the paintings upon the wall. It was impressive, to say the least.

"They're very lovely," Roger said with a grin.

Freddie smiled as well, covering his lips as he had done earlier. Roger didn't know why he had this habit, but a part of him wished Freddie didn't so he could actually get a good look at the man's smile.

"Yes, they're very well done." Brian complimented and John nodded in agreement with a polite smile.

"Thank you, darlings." Freddie looked away when he smiled before looking back at the guys. "Although, those painting are quite dull compared to the rest of my work, would you like to see them?"

John, Brian, and Roger all perked up and nodded to Freddie's question. They followed Freddie down the narrow hall of his flat to the second door on the lefthand side. Brian had carried Tiffany with him in his arms. Freddie opened up the door to the room and showed them around his homemade studio. There were a few wooden drying racks around the room housing different sized paintings. There was more than one paint-stained easel in the room as well and two wooden cabinets full of art supplies. The walls were far from bare, there were a few pinned up sketches and completed paintings hanging up too.

"I try to get my work done in here," Freddie said while the guys looked around. "But little miss Tiffany over here likes to make it very difficult for me."

Roger looked as Brian placed Tiffany down and sure enough, he could see a few paw print marks made of dried paint on the wooden floors. He couldn't help but laugh at that before he walked over to a particularly red and orange incomplete painting on the easel. Freddie made his way to Roger while Brian and John chatted and still looked around.

"What do you think of that one?" Freddie asked when he caught Roger staring at the painting.

"Oh- I think it's lovely." Roger nodded.

"Then I suppose you and the painting have something in common then, darling," Freddie said smoothly, not even making eye contact with Roger.

Roger was more than happy that Freddie had decided not to look at him, his face was surely burning a bright red at the words. Roger himself wasn't even this smooth with ladies he met. There was a fluttering in Roger's stomach as his nerves got the better of him. For as long as he could remember, Roger knew that he had felt the same way about men that he did women. It was something that he learned to ignore with years of practice. Whenever he would catch himself indulging in his attraction toward men, he pushed those thoughts as far back in his mind as he could. But damn it, Freddie was making it so difficult to do so.

"You don't mean that." Roger finally said with a slight laugh. 

"But I do, blondie, I do think you are lovely." Freddie said quite 'as-a-matter-of-fact-ly' with a nod, "And I'm sure you think I'm the loveliest bloke around!" He joked.

"Oh yes, Freddie, I think you are _exquisite_." Roger joked in return, although a part of him truly did think so.

"You bloody better think so because it's true." Freddie laughed.

That laugh, Roger thought, was one of the sweetest sounds he'd ever heard. Admittedly, Roger felt a certain way when he was in Freddie's company. It was a feeling that he was all too familiar with. A feeling that he had experienced so many times growing up around boys his own age. There was an attraction there that he couldn't explain. Did Freddie feel it too? Roger didn't know what to make of his light-hearted teasing. Perhaps it was flirting? Oh, he didn't know. Roger guessed only time would give him the answers to those questions.


	3. The Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger recalls the first time he and Freddie kissed.

_Present Day_

The whole time Roger talked about the man, about Freddie, Anna listened intently. She sipped her cup of now almost cold tea as she studied her grandfather's features. The old man seemed to smile with every other sentence as he recalled the fond memories. She had never seen her grandfather even talk about her grandmother with so much fondness before. It was strange hearing her grandfather talk about falling in love with someone else besides her grandmother. They had always seemed like the perfect, ideal couple. She would have never in a million years guessed that Roger loved someone more than her before that. Yes, it was strange but oddly heartwarming. 

For a moment, Roger stopped speaking. He had gotten up to the part where he introduced Brian and John to Freddie before going into a moment of silence while he looked at a picture in the album. Anna placed her now cold cup back down on the coffee table in front of them before she spoke up.

"Grandpa it seems like you started to fancy him right after meeting him." Anna said with a small smile.

"I suppose so, yes." Roger said with a light-hearted laugh, "Call it love at first sight. And that's just the beginning of it."

"How long was it before you two actually got together?" Anna asked, leaning over to peek at a photo of Freddie in the album.

"Not very long at all." Roger smiled at the memory. "In fact, we had our first kiss the following month. Oh, and what an absolute _mess_ that was. I remember it was around hmm the beginning of December..."

* * *

_December 7th, 1973_

It was barely 10 am when the telephone started ringing throughout the flat Roger shared with Brian and John. Roger was going to let it ring so someone else could pick it up but he suddenly remembered that John and Brian had left earlier that morning. So, with a groan, Roger brought his hand to the nightstand and fumbled with the telephone before grabbing it off the receiver. Just in time too.

"H-Hello?" Roger answered, his voice was still raspy having just woken up.

"Blondie, just the man I wanted to speak to!" Came Freddie's frantic voice on the other end of the phone. "What are you doing right now?"

Roger sat up and let out a yawn before answering, "Well I _was_ sleeping until you called." He rubbed some of the sleep out of his eyes, "Why what's wrong, Freddie?"

"Darling, it's an emergency, I need you to come over right away." Freddie told him and there was a bit of edge to his voice, "See you in a little bit!"

Roger didn't even get a word in before Freddie hung up. What kind of emergency could he have been talking about? Was something wrong with one of his cats? Or worse, was something wrong with _him_? Roger's heart thumped in his chest at the thought of Freddie being harmed in any way. So he ripped the blanket off of his body and nearly jumped out of bed to get dressed. Oh, he hoped Freddie was alright.

* * *

It was a half-hour until Roger found himself at the entrance of Freddie's apartment. He pressed Freddie's intercom button frantically and honestly, more times than necessary. Well, he couldn't help it! He was still slightly worried at the thought of this being a real emergency and at the thought of Freddie being hurt. Thankfully, Freddie buzzed him in almost immediately and Roger quickly climbed the stairs up to Freddie's door. He knocked rather frantically and Freddie answered in a matter of seconds.

"Oh thank you for coming over, darling!" Freddie cheered before pulling the younger man inside. 

"You- You said you needed me and that it was an emergency right?" Roger asked worriedly.

At the moment, Roger couldn't care less if he was overreacting to the situation. He and Freddie were friends and growing closer and closer every day. And as much as he hated to think about it, Roger could feel a romantic attraction for Freddie welling up inside of him. So it was normal to be worried, right?

Freddie took a look at him and burst out laughing, leaving Roger confused as ever. Freddie simply draped an arm around Roger's shoulder as his laughter died down.

"Oh, no, Blondie not that kind of emergency." Freddie explained, "I'm okay, I just wanted you to come over because I have artist block and I was wondering if you could come over to give me some ideas. I desperately need the help which is why I needed you to come over as soon as possible."

It was an understatement to say that Roger was relieved to hear that Freddie was unharmed but he couldn't help but pout at the explanation. After having a million thoughts of Freddie being hurt to find out it was something so simple, how could he not be upset? Freddie picked up on Roger's pout and playfully pinched at his cheek to ease the mood.

"Oh Roger, I'm so sorry for the misunderstanding," Freddie said with a sincere smile gracing his lips. "I must say I am shocked how _fast_ you came to save me, you're my knight in shining armor!"

Roger didn't have it in him to stay mad at Freddie. How could he? Besides, that was the first time he actually said Roger's name instead of fondly calling him 'blondie' so he figured the man must have meant the apology. Roger's cheeks flushed ever so slightly at the words and he felt that dreaded yet familiar fluttering in his stomach. He should've been used to the feeling by now.

"And you are a regular damsel in distress, you know that?" Roger laughed, his cheeks still stained red.

"Yes, I know, darling." Freddie laughed.

The two of them walked down the hall to Freddie's studio. When they walked in, they were greeted by Tiffany and Oscar who came trotting up to them. The cats were becoming quite familiar with Roger since he had been coming over to Freddie's flat quite often in the past three weeks. Oscar tended to cozy up to Roger more than Tiffany did. Roger leaned down and picked up a loud purring Oscar as Freddie started to explain his situation.

"I've been working on this bloody painting for two weeks now," Freddie gestured to the incomplete painting at one of the wooden easels. "You see I've started it but I don't know exactly how to finish. I have a broad idea of what I want it to look like but I can't exactly get it on to the canvas."

Roger nodded along to what Freddie said, absentmindedly petting Oscar in his arms while he listened. He studied Freddie's frowning face and heard the man sigh.

"I just feel stuck." Freddie finally said, still inspecting the incomplete canvas.

In Roger's opinion, the painting looked gorgeous already even though it had yet to be completed. He could make out the abstract figure of a man painted in several dark shades of blue but other than that, the subject was shrouded in mystery.

"Well, maybe you should work on something else for a little while," Roger suggested as he placed Oscar down neatly on the ground. "Maybe something like... sketching will help. You'll be getting out some sort of creativity and you won't feel like you're in such a rut."

Roger could tell Freddie was contemplating the idea intensely. After a few moments, his big brown eyes perked up and he nodded with a small clap of his hands.

"That sounds like a splendid idea!" Freddie agreed.

Freddie walked over to one of the large wooden cabinets in the room and rummaged through a slightly crooked drawer in search of something. In a matter of seconds, Freddie had pulled out what Roger assumed to be a sketchbook along with a case of pencils. Roger noted that the book looked expensive with its leather cover and hardly even used unless Freddie just kept it very neat.

Freddie pulled back the cover of the book and sat down on the wooden floor. Roger sat down in front of him and Oscar came trotting back over to them as Freddie dumped out various pencils from the case in his hands.

"Now the question is, what to draw?" Freddie wondered aloud as he picked up a pencil and tapped it against his chin.

"Why don't you draw this cutie right here," Roger suggested as he pointed toward Oscar before scratching his fuzzy orange chin.

"Actually Blondie, I'd much rather draw the cutie right _there_ ," Freddie replied, pointing his pencil unmistakenly at Roger.

Roger nearly choked at the words and there went that familiar flushed sensation in his face as he undoubtedly turned red. Roger had been the subject of Freddie's teasing and flirtatious jokes for nearly a month now and he still wasn't used to it. With every charismatic comment, Roger found it harder and harder to suppress the romantic feelings for Freddie that seemed to grow stronger by the day.

"I mean- If you really want to draw me then I would be honored, Mr. Bulsara," Roger said jokingly as they often spoke.

"That's Mr. _Mercury_ to you, blondie," Freddie said as he smiled down to the open sketchbook in his lap. "Now stay perfectly still until I'm finished."

Roger nodded in response and Freddie began to sketch who he personally believed was the most beautiful man sitting right in front of him. Freddie started out sketching Roger's face, drawing out the basic shapes before going into greater detail. This also gave Freddie the perfect excuse to just study Roger's features. Oh, Roger was simply beautiful in his eyes. Freddie had only been with a couple of men in the past but none of them compared to Roger's beauty. Freddie sketched out Roger's eyes, they were his favorite feature. He'd never seen eyes so blue before. Nearly every time he and Roger had a conversation, Freddie found himself getting absolutely lost in them. Although, he didn't mind very much.

Next, he moved on to Roger's cute little nose. While Freddie sketched that part out, he had an odd urge to playfully tap it as he did with Tiffany and Oscar. But Roger obviously wasn't a cat so that idea went out the window pretty quickly. When Freddie got down to the lips, he may have sketched them with more detail than necessary. Obviously, that meant something right? He couldn't help it, they just looked so soft and perfect, he adored them. He especially adored the fact that Roger was pulling a little smile for him to draw.

After about a half-hour or so, Roger began to grow a little impatient with having to sit in one position for so long. Being cross-legged on the floor wasn't exactly comfortable.

"Freddie, are you almost done?" Roger asked.

"Mhm, just give me a moment to finish up your hair darling," Freddie replied, looking between the sketchpad and Roger's mop of blond hair.

Nearly 5 minutes later, Freddie tossed his pencil to the side and held up the book with pride.

"I'm finished, here take a look!" Freddie exclaimed happily, practically shoving the book in Roger's lap.

Roger lifted up the book to get a better look at the page. At the sight of the drawing, his mouth fell slightly ajar. Freddie's artwork never ceased to amaze him.

"I love it but," Roger began, "I think you've exaggerated my looks, I'm not nearly as attractive as this drawing." He laughed intending for his words to come across as a joke.

But Freddie frowned.

"What do you mean?" Freddie wondered before crawling closer to Roger, "You are just as beautiful as that drawing, Blondie." Freddie insisted, "Actually, you're even more beautiful than that silly piece of paper."

At this point, Freddie was a few inches away from Roger's face. The proximity of their faces made Roger's stomach flutter uncomfortably. Their eyes met in a gaze, bright blue iris' looking intently into deep brown ones. Roger could hear Freddie's breath hitch slightly.

"You think so?" Roger asked, his voice had grown soft.

"Roger you are very beautiful." Freddie assured him, his voice had grown soft as well, "From your lovely blue eyes to that cute button nose and..." Freddie paused to place his hands on either side of Roger's face.

Everything happened so quickly, the next thing Roger knew, their lips had pressed together in a soft, gentle kiss all the while Freddie tenderly cupped his cheeks. At this point, Roger knew he couldn't suppress whatever romantic feelings he had for Freddie. It clearly wasn't an option, not when he was enjoying the kiss so much that his eyes slipped shut. Freddie was the one to pull away rather abruptly and he tried to scoot away from Roger frantically.

"I- I'm so sorry, Roger- I don't know why I did that, I'm so stupid aren't I?" Freddie sputtered and Roger could see his face had flushed red.

"Why- Why are you apologizing?" Roger asked.

"Because I just bloody kissed you!" Freddie cried, "And- I didn't even ask you if I could or if you um.. liked men for that matter-"

Freddie was obviously panicking to some degree over his actions. Damn it, Roger was never really good at reassurance and comfort. His mind was still hazy from the kiss and before he could really think anything through, he stood up from his spot on the floor. 

"I should- I should go," Roger told him, "I'll see you around."

Before Freddie could utter another word, Roger had rushed out of the room.

* * *

_December 25th, 1973_

Much to Roger's dismay, on this particular Christmas morning, the snow was almost _impossible_ to drive through. Freddie called them up the day before and asked if the guys wanted to come over Christmas morning before they would go to see their families. Brian was the one who had picked up the phone and happily agreed, saying that they would all be there bright and early. And that was the reason why Roger was driving through the snow at nearly 9 am.

Roger was reluctant to see Freddie after what happened between them a few weeks prior. The memory of the awkward kiss replayed in his mind whenever he wasn't thinking about anything else. Three weeks without talking to Freddie was also very difficult. But still, no matter what, Roger just couldn't bring himself to dial Freddie's number. Freddie didn't call either so Roger thought maybe he just needed his space. That is until yesterday when he called. Roger wondered if Freddie was going to talk to him about the kiss or if he would simply pretend like they were just friends and play it off as if nothing happened.

"Roger, are you alright?" Brian asked from the passenger side as he eyed his friend.

"Yea you look... Rather strange." John chimed in from the back seat, "You look like you're going to throw up."

Roger relaxed his tensed up shoulders and took a breath while he looked out at the white roads ahead of him.

"I just... hate driving in the snow and I'm really focused on not crashing the car right now." Roger lied.

They began pulling up to Freddie's street and the sick feeling in Roger's stomach intensified. He swore they'd only stay for an hour at the _most_ to avoid as much tension as possible. Freddie was quick to buzz them in when John pressed the button downstairs. Brian was the one to knock on Freddie's front door while Roger lingered behind him and John.

"Brian, John, I'm so happy you could make it!" Freddie cheered upon opening the door, "Merry Christmas, darlings!"

Brian and John greeted Freddie with a cheerful 'Merry Christmas' in return as well. 

"Oh and Roger's here too," John told him, nodding at the sulking blond behind them.

"Well, of course, Blondie, glad you could make it too!" Freddie grinned.

Roger wondered how Freddie could be acting so calm right now while he himself was on the verge of a mental breakdown. There was no trace of nervousness across his carefree face. Roger's stomach sank at that, he just knew Freddie would try to play it off like it didn't happen. But really, what could Roger expect after he stormed out like that after the kiss happened? He had to find the right time to talk to Freddie alone and tell him how he felt, no matter how awkward it was sure to be. He could only hope that Freddie would still want to be more than friends.

Roger, Brian, and John sat in the living room while they waited for Freddie to emerge from the kitchen. Oscar and Tiffany came trotting over to them, adorning little Christmas jumpers that Freddie had managed to put on them. Brian actually let out a little squeal of joy when he saw them.

"Oh aren't my little darlings just precious?" Freddie laughed when he entered the room with a tray holding four mugs of hot chocolate, "It's too early for vodka so I hope hot chocolate's fine, it is Christmas after all!"

"That sounds great!" John said as an excited little kid might which was quite adorable.

"Oh, and I bought you all gifts!" Freddie chirped once he set the tray on the coffee table. "I'll go get them."

Freddie retrieved two medium-sized boxes from the linen closet in the hall then returned to the living room to hand them out. There was one for John and one for Brian. The two were far too excited to notice that Roger didn't receive anything.

"Oh Fred, we feel bad we haven't got you anything.." Brian began but Freddie waved him off.

"Oh don't worry about it, darling I don't mind at all. I just wanted to give you blokes a little something special since we're getting along splendidly." Freddie told him.

"Next Christmas I'll buy you a car don't worry." Brian joked before he started to peel the wrapping paper off of his gift.

"You can buy it but it won't go to much use." Freddie laughed before turning to face an empty-handed Roger on the couch. "Blondie, I didn't forget about you, come follow me."

Brian and John paid the two no attention as they tore into their own gifts. Freddie led Roger down the narrow hallway of his small apartment. They stopped at the single door to the right and Freddie pushed it open. The room contained a full-sized bed draped in silky red blankets with two nightstands on either side. There was a small wooden desk by the window that was covered in papers, mostly random drawings. A white wooden dresser sat in the corner of the room as well. Roger noticed that there were several colognes and cosmetic jars on top of it along with an assortment of accessories and nail polishes. Roger stepped in and Freddie closed the door behind them before he paced over to the windowsill and picked up one of the many potted plants that sat there.

"I bought this for you, I've been keeping it here at my bedroom window because this bit of the flat gets the most sunlight but- but it wouldn't make a difference these flowers live almost all year-round you see. I was looking for the right gift for you and I don't know- I thought you might like this? " Freddie was rambling nervously as he presented the gift.

Roger was sitting down on the neatly made bed and Freddie sat down beside him as he put the potted plant in Roger's outstretched hands. Roger observed the red and yellow flowers in awe. He wasn't much of a plant person but he guessed he had to be now with this gift. He didn't have the slightest clue what these flowers were even called.

"They're primroses." Freddie said as if Reading Roger's confused expression, "I wanted to tell you that I'm very sorry for kissing you the other night, Roger."

Roger's gaze moved from the flowers to meet Freddie's nervous eyes beside him. Here Freddie was apologizing and no doubt beating himself up over this when in reality, Roger had welcomed the kiss, he had desperately wanted it. Sure, he may have fled the scene afterward but in his defense, he had never actually _kissed_ a man before, and as much as he had wanted it, the experience had startled him. 

"Freddie, you're acting as if I didn't kiss back." Roger finally said with a gentle laugh, "For god's sake, I closed my eyes in the middle of it. I'm... I'm sorry I ran out after it happened. That was wrong of me but believe me, I enjoyed every second of it."

Freddie looked absolutely flustered upon hearing that. Roger could see that Freddie hadn't even considered the fact that Roger had enjoyed it as well. Roger couldn't help but let out a gentle laugh at Freddie's expression.

"Can I- Can I kiss you?" Freddie asked quite suddenly.

Roger didn't even give it a second thought, he merely nodded a 'yes' in response. Before Roger knew it, he felt Freddie's thumb and index finger on his chin. Freddie lifted Roger's chin ever so slightly as he leaned forward and connected their lips in a tender kiss. Roger's stomach began to flutter once again and this time he welcomed the feeling. Their lips moved together, almost as if they were already familiar with each other. A few blissful moments had passed and all that could be heard throughout the room was the sound of their lips as they moved. It was a lovely sound in Roger's opinion. That is until there was a knock at the door. Both Roger and Freddie jumped from the startling sound and pulled away from each other.

"Are you two in here?" It was John's voice from the other side of the door, "The hot chocolate's getting cold!"

"We'll be right out, darling!" Freddie called out.

They waited a moment until they could hear the sound of John's platform shoes against the floor fading away down the hallway. When it was quiet again, Freddie and Roger looked at each other and exchanged a soft, nervous laugh.

"C'mon Blondie, we wouldn't want to keep them waiting." Freddie grinned as he stood up.

Roger nodded and stood to follow him. As he did so, he carefully cradled the potted plant in his hands on their way to the door.

"Oh, by the way, thanks for the flowers." Roger said just as Freddie swung open the door to the hallway, "They'll look lovely in my window."

"It's no trouble, darling." Freddie nodded. "Lovely flowers for a lovely person, my dear."

They were out of sight, just in front of the bedroom door so Freddie pressed a quick kiss to Roger's cheek, and then they were on their way to rejoin Brian and John in the living room. Roger was just thankful his mates didn't ask about why his face was obviously flushed red.


	4. New York City

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger and Freddie have not established their relationship yet and Roger doesn't know how to even begin that conversation.

_January 13th, 1974_

Nearly a month had passed since Roger and Freddie's first kiss incident and the two had become practically inseparable as a result. Brian and John had certainly noticed how the two began to cling to each other. However, they just brushed it off assuming that it was a sign that Roger and Freddie had become the best of friends. While there was a beautiful romance budding between Freddie and Roger, the two of them had still hadn't discussed what it was leading up to. There was never any conversation about going steady. It was almost as if they were just regular friends who made out occasionally. There was nothing official about it. For weeks, Roger had thought over several different ways to begin that long-awaited conversation. But each time he went to talk about it, his nerves got the better of him and he would quickly stray the conversation elsewhere. There was just so much to talk about. Almost _too_ much to talk about. Should they become a couple? Should they just continue their 'friendly' relationship as it was now? Did Freddie even _want_ a real relationship with him? Thinking about it all left Roger overwhelmed. 

That afternoon, the two were in Freddie's flat where they spent most of their time together. Thankfully, Roger had the day off of work and of course, Freddie knew that and insisted that they spent the day together. Whenever Roger came over, they more often than not hung out in Freddie's home studio. Like any other day he spent in Freddie's studio, Roger was sat on the floor. His back was leaning against the wall behind him as he watched Freddie dabble a lilac-colored paint on the canvas in front of him. Freddie was sitting on an old, chipped wooden stool while he worked. Freddie was dressed only in the pair of white trousers that he often worked in. The evidence of that being various dried up paint splatters all over the front of them.

Roger loved to watch Freddie work on anything whether that be a simple sketch or a full out masterpiece on canvas. Roger adored the way Freddie would pause for a few moments to think about his next brush stroke. Or the way he muttered an adorable little _'Shit!'_ after he made a small mistake. Sometimes, Freddie would stop for minutes at a time, admiring his work before asking Roger what he thought. And on most of those occasions, Roger was too busy admiring Freddie's lithe body in front of him to even notice what Freddie had done. Getting to sit with Freddie in his studio was quite the experience and Roger loved how special, how _intimate_ it felt. It was something that only _they_ did together, something nobody could ever take away from them. 

"How's this looking so far, Darling?" Freddie asked, moving his shoulder slightly out of the way to give Roger a better view of the canvas.

"Hm?" Roger hardly heard the question.

This was one of those occasions where his mind was occupied with the sight of Freddie's unclothed back. Freddie picked up on the dazed expression Roger wore.

Freddie let out one of his oh so heavenly laughs before saying, "I said, 'how's this looking?' Or were you too busy staring at me in all my glory?"

Roger scoffed and he grinned, "Oh shut up. It looks good so far."

"Thanks, blondie, I think so too." Freddie smiled back before turning his attention back to the canvas.

Just as Freddie began to dabble paint on it once more, the house echoed with a loud ring coming from the telephone in the living room. Roger could hear Freddie mutter a curse word as he rushed to put his palette down and get to the telephone. When Freddie swung open the door, Oscar ran into the room and practically jumped into Roger's lap. Roger let out a huff from the sudden weight in his lap but he was happy to have the company while he waited for Freddie to return. About ten minutes passed by before Roger began to wonder what was taking Freddie so long. Freddie hated chatting over the phone and kept most calls to a maximum of 3 or 4 minutes. Perhaps the call was important.

"C'mon mate, let's go see what Freddie's up to," Roger mumbled to Oscar as he stood up, holding the heavy cat.

Roger walked through the narrow hallway to the living room And he could see Freddie sitting on one of the sofas with the yellow telephone held up to his ear. Roger noticed that while Freddie chatted, his lips were pulled into the brightest smile that Roger had ever seen. Roger had never quite noticed how oddly prominent Freddie's teeth were. They stuck out a fair bit but it suited him very well and Roger thought he must've had the loveliest smile in all of London. Unfortunately, the very moment Roger came into view, Freddie quickly brought a hand up to cover his mouth. 

"Okay, Mhm, I'll be giving you a call sometime tomorrow to go over the arrangements." Freddie finally said while Roger put Oscar down on one of the sofas, "Thank you, you too, bye-bye."

"Who was that?" Roger asked curiously as Freddie put the phone back on the receiver.

Freddie quickly stood up in front of Roger and placed a gentle yet exciting grip on his shoulders.

"You would not believe it, It was the owner of a gallery in New York City!" Freddie cheered unable to control his excitement, "The man said that he'd seen one of my paintings, Oh, I don't remember how... I think it had something to do with one of his friends owning it or whatever, and well he said that he wanted to commission me to work on something for his gallery. I can't believe it! I'm going to be part of a New York City gallery! And it's far more popular than anything my art has ever been part of before!"

By now, Roger's lips had pulled into a smile of their own. Oh, Freddie looked so delighted about the whole situation that it made Roger's heart swell. Roger wrapped his arms around Freddie's absolutely tiny waist and gave him a well-deserved kiss.

"I'm- I'm so happy for you!" Roger said, the smile never leaving his lips after he pulled back from their kiss. "I know this is going to be bloody amazing for you!"

"I really, really hope so." Freddie replied, loosely wrapping his arms around Roger's neck, "Oh I better start packing as soon as possible. So much has to be done before I leave."

That was the moment Roger's smile faltered.

"Packing? What do you mean?" Roger asked as his gaze met Freddie's.

"Well, the owner of the gallery wants me to go to New York for a few months while I work on the commission," Freddie explained. "So it won't just be me shipping off a piece somewhere else like I usually do." 

Roger could feel a weight in his stomach at the words. A few months without Freddie sounded impossible. The two were inseparable now, they saw each other nearly every day. It would be so strange to _not_ hear Freddie's sweet voice say 'blondie' every few minutes. As selfish as it sounded, Roger could picture himself begging Freddie not to go. But Freddie's career was far too important compared to Roger's childish feelings. Besides, he only wanted what was best for Freddie and would give anything to see him become even more successful. This was quite a big deal for him. So, Roger forced a smile to appear on his lips. 

"My God. Well that's exciting, I can't say that I've ever been to someplace as interesting as New York City. I'm sure it'll be fun." Roger said, his grip on Freddie's waist tightened slightly and the fake smile never left his lips, "When do you leave?"

Freddie grinned at the question, "Next week Friday on the 19th. It's so soon but I really am excited." 

Only a week? It felt like such short notice. Roger had to be sure to savor the brief time he had left with Freddie until he left for New York. Although Roger did feel a bit of sadness to see Freddie go he had to remind himself that this was important to Freddie. Any silly feelings he had could be pushed away for now. 

* * *

_January 18th, 1974_

The days leading up to Freddie's departure were hectic, to say the least. Freddie was constantly busy making arrangements for his trip to New York and Roger tried to help him as best as he could with anything he needed. Roger could've sworn that he sat on at _least_ a dozen suitcases so Freddie could zip them all up. Freddie insisted that Roger spend the next few months in his flat to look after Oscar and Tiffany while he was gone. Roger was sure that there must've been someone else Freddie could've asked to watch his apartment but he still felt special that Freddie had come to him first. At first, Roger was reluctant to stay there. Being in the flat without Freddie would seem weird and quiet and he knew that it would only end up making him miss Freddie even more. But in the end, Roger of course agreed to it. Freddie had even spent a good amount of time whipping his apartment into tip-top shape for Roger's stay and he bought an unnecessary amount of groceries to make sure Roger was all taken care of while he was there. 

The 18th was the day before Freddie was set to leave and by then, Freddie had finished preparing everything for his trip so he could more or less relax. He and Roger hadn't been able to spend much quality time together because of all the planning but Freddie insisted on them going out to do _something_ together before he left. Roger suggested a nice walk through the park. It was a simple activity but that didn't matter as long as they could chat and spend some time together.

It was around 4 pm that day and the two were strolling through Hyde Park chatting idly about various topics as they simply enjoyed each other's company. Roger could sense a familiar thought gnawing at his mind as it often did. The thought was to bring up the status of their relationship. Maybe this was the perfect moment? They were alone for the most part, with the exception of a few passersby. The thought was swirling around Roger's mind repeatedly. Just tell him how you feel, ask him about where this is going! The thought seemed simple enough but damn it, Roger could not manage to get the words out. Freddie chatted on about something and admittedly, Roger was hardly paying attention as he tried to summon the courage to finally as Freddie about their relationship. Finally, just as Roger felt he could do this, although his body shook with nerves, Freddie brought up his trip once again. 

"I have to be sure to call you every day while I'm gone." Freddie spoke up, "I need a daily report on how my little darlings are doing."

"Oh, so you just want to call me to talk about your cats?" Roger said with a grin.

"Well, now who said _you_ weren't one of my little darlings, blondie?" Freddie asked with a cheeky smile on his lips. "So expect me to call every day. I know I probably sound like a broken record but I'm just so excited to see New York."

"And I'm excited for you to go." Roger told him though it was a lie, he wasn't excited to Freddie leave, "You'll have so much fun. And I know that your art will be the star of the exhibition."

Freddie couldn't help but smile at that thought, "I really hope so. I mean, this is a chance for me to really get my work out there. Before you know it, I'll be the Michaelangelo of our time, darling!"

"I have absolutely no doubt about that," Roger said with a light laugh.

They walked a few more steps in silence before spoke up again. 

"And you'll be waiting for me right here when I get home. I think I'm looking forward to that the most." Freddie's voice had grown softer and he looked to Roger beside him.

Roger could feel Freddie's cold yet soft, inviting hand reach down to intertwine their fingers. Roger's face flushed and for a moment, he was grateful for the small bit of heat as they walked through the freezing cold. This was it, this was the time and place to talk about it. To talk about where they stood.

"Freddie, I wanted to ask you something..." Roger said gently before mumbling out a barely audible, "...About us?"

Freddie looked to him yet again, his gorgeous features showing a slight bit of concern. 

"What is it, darling?" Freddie questioned. 

"I just..." Roger tried desperately to look away and focus on something else. His gaze quickly fixed on the pond that was parallel to them. God, to say he felt awkward was an understatement.

This absolutely _felt_ like the perfect moment to talk about this. But Roger wondered, was it exactly such a smart move? Was it really a good idea to discuss all of this right before Freddie would leave for New York? Then his mind began to spiral into a black hole of 'what if's. What if Freddie didn't want a real relationship right now? What if Freddie was content with whatever weird relationship they had going on now? No strings attached? What if Freddie went to New York and met someone else, someone _better_? Then Freddie would surely have regretted entering a relationship right before he left and they would just end up breaking up. Okay so the last scenario stung a bit but it was still a possibility that Roger had to consider. With all of these scenarios filling his mind, Roger quickly decided that maybe this _wasn't_ the best time to talk about this. 

"Ah, Nevermind..." Roger waved off, still unable to look at Freddie, "It's nothing, really."

"Well, that didn't sound like 'nothing'." Freddie said, he was always so persistent, "You know you can tell me what's bothering you, darling, right?"

"It... can wait until you get back from New York," Roger replied. 

"Okay." Freddie tightened his grip on Roger's hand comfortingly, "But the moment I step off that plane I expect you to tell me what it is, _Mr. Taylor_."

Roger was grateful to hear that familiar playfulness in Freddie's voice as it helped soften up the tense atmosphere around them.

"Of course, _Mr. Mercury_." Roger said before he let out a soft laugh, "Now forget all about that. What are you most looking forward to in New York?"

* * *

_January 19th, 1974_

The next morning rolled around much more quickly than Roger had hoped. Roger had woken up in a (well not _completely_ ) unfamiliar bed surrounded by plush pillows and silk sheets. It was a persistent, almost frantic shaking of his shoulder that had woken him. For a moment, Roger had no idea where he was before it all came flooding back to him. Last night, he had agreed to spend the night in Freddie's apartment so he could give him a ride to the airport in the morning. Roger remembered how he almost passed out like a silly, touch starved virgin when Freddie insisted they share a bed. Throughout the night, Roger discovered that Freddie was very clingy in bed but at least he provided some much-needed body heat.

Now, God only knows what time it was in the morning and Roger began to seriously regret his decision to spend the night. Freddie's delicate hands were on Roger's shoulder shaking him from what Roger could only imagine was excitement and anticipation.

"Blondie!" Freddie said with urgency, "Wake up we have to go! My flight departs at 6, wake up this instant!"

Roger _really_ had to stop offering car rides to people. 

Freddie was all dressed and made up to go when Roger finally got out of bed so he waited impatiently for him to get ready. Every 5 minutes, Freddie would remind Roger of the time until he seemed to finally be ready to hit the road. Upon saying his goodbyes to Oscar and Tiffany, Freddie nearly cried. The two cats were very disinterested in their father's display of affection towards them.

The car ride to the airport was anything but silent. Freddie chatted on and on about New York and what he would do the moment he got there. Roger tried to follow along with all of it but Freddie was shouting out various tourist activities he would do rather quickly. All Roger really remembered was a brief mention of the Empire State Building and walks through Central Park. By the time they reached the airport parking lot, it was around 5 in the morning. The sun was just beginning to rise and still, Freddie thought they hadn't arrived early enough.

It was around 5:30 am, nearly a half-hour later, and Freddie had just finished checking in all of his luggage. The two of them stood at a somewhat secluded spot near the gate as they waited for Freddie's flight to start boarding. When Roger heard an awfully cheery woman announce that the 6 am flight to JFK airport was about to start boarding its passengers, he felt his stomach sink. It was time for them to say their goodbyes for the time being. Roger ignored the sinking in his stomach and looked over to Freddie who was adjusting the strap of his carry on bag. Freddie didn't seem to be visibly upset but still, a small part of Roger secretly hoped that Freddie was somewhat melancholy over the fact that they wouldn't be seeing each other for months. 

"So, Blondie, I guess this is where we say goodbye, hm?" Freddie said, breaking the silence between them. "Oh but only for a few months. I'll be back before you know it!"

There was a visible pout on Roger's lips but it quickly turned into a weak smile at Freddie's enthusiastic words.

Roger simply nodded, "I know... So I guess I'll see you in April then Freddie. I really hope you have a nice trip."

Roger took a small step toward Freddie intending on giving one last hug before he left. Roger glanced around to be sure no one odd was watching before he wrapped his arms around Freddie's smaller frame. Freddie of course hugged back and gave Roger's back a few gentle pats of affection with his hand. Just as they were meant to pull out of their embrace, Freddie quickly cupped Roger's cheeks with his delicate hands and pressed their lips together in a slow and tender kiss. At that point, Roger felt his slightly shaky hands move down to Freddie's waist as they kissed. It felt almost as if it were their first kiss all over again. Except, of course, this particular kiss wasn't awkward or disastrous. No, in fact, it was soft and sweet and slow. When they finally pulled away from each other about a minute later, Roger could still taste Freddie on his lips. Oddly enough, he couldn't help but think about how much he was going to miss that sensation until they saw each other again.

Freddie let out a little huff and his cheeks were dusted in a faintly red hue. "Now _that_ is how you say a proper goodbye, Darling." Freddie breathed with a faint smile on his lips. "Imagine what our 'Hello' is going to be like in a few months."

Roger's face flushed a bright red at the thought and he shoved his hands into his denim jacket pockets.

"Don't you have a flight to catch?" Roger teased, quirking an eyebrow.

"Goodness, you're right!" Freddie exclaimed, adjusting the strap of his bag one last time. "I'll try to call you when I get to my hotel, darling, so make sure you answer the phone."

"Got it, I'll be waiting by the phone." Roger nodded, "Goodbye, Freddie."

"Bye-bye, blondie!" Freddie said with one last smile.

Freddie took one last fond look at Roger before he turned on his heels to leave. Roger lingered behind for a moment. He watched Freddie stand on line at the gate until he showed a woman at the front desk his ticket and then he disappeared as he boarded the plane among the other passengers. It was only then when Roger knew Freddie was safely on the plane, that he sadly turned to leave the airport.

Roger felt an inexplicable weight in his chest as he approached the double doors to the parking lot. He felt pathetic saying it but he already missed Freddie. It was knowing that he wouldn't be able to hold Freddie or kiss him or even watch him paint for the next few months that made him feel absolutely horrible. All at once, Roger began to mentally kick himself for not actually discussing the nature of their relationship with Freddie before he left. They were still just 'friends who made out on occasion' as far as they were both concerned. But Roger wanted so much more than that with Freddie. He wanted the satisfaction of being able to call Freddie his man. He only hoped that Freddie wouldn't find someone new in New York, that Freddie would come home, they'd make out and then he'd ask Freddie to be his boyfriend. He had to wait until April to discuss any of this with him, there was no way he could ever do it over the phone. April couldn't come fast enough. 


	5. Missing You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roger misses Freddie while he's gone and at the same time, begins to feel guilty about not coming out to his best friends.

_March 13th, 1974_

Two months.

Two, long, and incredibly boring months without Freddie had passed by the time it was mid-March. Although Brian and John were just a mere phone call away, Roger had felt so incredibly lonely without Freddie there in London. Brian and John, who were both fairly observant, noticed a slight change in Roger's mood and attitude the moment Freddie left. They chatted their concerns about Roger to each other but never directly talked with him about it. In the end, they just figured that it might be normal for Roger to be upset over Freddie's absence. From what they knew, the two _were_ best friends after all. But it was so much more complicated than that. 

Roger found himself waiting by the telephone nearly every night although Freddie seemed to call only three or four times a week when he wasn't busy. Their phone conversations were almost structured the same every time. The first thing Freddie would ask was how was Roger doing or how was he feeling then he was sure to ask him about his day and work at the boutique. Roger would answer then ask nearly the same questions. After the small talk was out of the way, Freddie would excitedly ask about Oscar and Tiffany.

Truthfully, the cats were the only thing that made Roger feel a little bit better and a little less lonely with Freddie out of the house. Roger even slept in Freddie's bed with the two cats. They would cuddle up so close to him he felt as if he would roll over and squash them. Perhaps they missed Freddie too and were just grateful for any company they could get.

Around 3 am on that day, Roger was sat in the living room with Oscar and Tiffany at his feet while he watched a program on the telly. To say his eyelids were heavy was an understatement. He worked earlier that day and he had to be at work in the morning but he couldn't sleep. Not now, not when Freddie had promised to call him tonight. Just as the program had cut to a commercial, the bright yellow telephone on the coffee table began to ring. The sudden sound caused Oscar and Tiffany to jump so Roger leaned down to pet them quickly before picking up the phone with excitement.

"Hello?" Roger answered just as he brought the phone up to his ear.

"Hello, my dear!" He could hear Freddie's lovely voice on the other end, "Did I wake you? You sound terrible."

Roger cleared his throat and grinned to himself, "No, no, I wasn't sleeping, 'm just tired. It _is_ the middle of the night here you know."

"I know, darling. I'm so sorry for calling you this late. I haven't had a moment to myself today, I've been so busy." Freddie apologized, "So how was your day today?"

Roger took the time to lay back on the couch before answering, "It was alright, nothing too exciting happened. Just the same boring routine. How was your day? I mean other than busy."

"I'm afraid I've had quite a boring day too." Freddie said, "I've been working non stop all day so I haven't had the time to sightsee, unfortunately. Finishing up this piece is such a chore. But I'm almost done with it actually. I can't wait to get back home."

There was a pause, a brief moment of silence. 

"I miss you." Freddie said softly on the other end.

Those three little words nearly sent Roger's heart leaping out of his chest. There went that all too familiar fluttering in his stomach again too. He reached a hand up to fiddle with the telephone cord as he smiled to himself.

"I miss you too, Freddie." Roger replied gently, "What day is it that you get back home?"

Roger could make out a bit of a shuffling noise on the other end before Freddie gave his reply.

"I should be back home in possibly... Two weeks. Not exactly sure on the date though, it depends on when I finish up here and I do need time to pack and all." Freddie finally answered, "Either way, the beginning of April is when I'll be home. And I must say I'm looking forward to it. Oh, New York is lovely but I think I prefer London."

"Really? I would've thought that you'd never want to leave New York." Roger said before letting out a light laugh, "Why do you prefer London, then?"

"Well, because you're there, darling. Obviously." Freddie said cheekily.

Roger chuckled although he could feel his face heat up, "You know you really can be quite sappy." 

"I know, my dear, I know." Freddie said with a small giggle, "Now, darling, I think I'll let you sleep. I know it's late and you have to work in the morning."

"I don't mind staying up a little bit longer-"

"Blondie, you get your cute little bum to bed this instant." Freddie said playfully, no doubt with a smile on his face.

"Yes, _mother Mercury_." Roger chuckled, "Call me tomorrow then if you get the chance, yea?"

"Don't worry, I will. And I'll try to pick a more reasonable hour to do so." Freddie told him, "Sweet dreams, darling."

"Goodnight, Freddie."

After their final exchange, the line went dead as Freddie hung up the phone. Roger let out a small sigh before leaning over to put the telephone back on the receiver. For a moment, he thought of how long two weeks seemed. But he reminded himself that he'd been without Freddie for a whole two months now, surely two weeks would fly by? He sincerely hoped that they would. 

In two weeks Freddie would finally be home. And Roger thought about how he would once again try to bring up the nature of their relationship. He promised himself that he would talk to Freddie when he got back from New York. As much as Roger anticipated Freddie's return, he couldn't lie about how he was dreading what would probably be an awkward conversation.

* * *

_March 15th, 1974_

It was rather chilly and cloudy that afternoon. The skies were dark grey from the rain showers that happened in the morning and the atmosphere outside was positively gloomy. Roger had just finished an unusually hectic shift at the boutique. Thankfully, it was Friday which meant that Roger had the rest of the day and the weekend to himself. Undoubtedly, he'd be spending his free time cooped up in Freddie's apartment. Roger found it slightly pathetic but with Freddie gone, all he did was work and spend his free time in the apartment. He hadn't been to a pub in weeks.

The day before, John had asked Roger if we wanted to spend some time with him and Brian in the apartment that they all shared. John was thoroughly surprised to hear Roger agree though he claimed he needed to pick up some fresh clothes from his room there anyway. The three of them hadn't really spent much time together since Roger had been practically living in Freddie's apartment for the past few months. Brian and John were actually looking forward to Roger's presence being in the apartment once again.

It was around 5 pm that day when Roger unlocked the front door of their apartment. Stepping in, he flicked on the light in the hallway then tossed his umbrella in the holder beside the door.

"Oh look a stranger just walked in." Brian joked as he emerged from the kitchen.

"Oh, _ha ha_." Roger scoffed, kicking the door closed. "I can't stay too long though, I've got to go back home and feed Oscar and Tiffany later."

"Home?" Brian let out a laugh as the two set off to the kitchen together, "Roger, last time I checked, mate, _this_ was your home."

If Brian hadn't said anything, Roger was sure he wouldn't even have noticed that small slip of the tongue. Well, Freddie's apartment did feel like home to him. For God's sake, he'd been living there for two months. But still, though, Roger could feel his face heat up with embarrassment at the small mistake.

"Oh shut up." Roger simply waved off as he sat at the breakfast bar in the kitchen.

Brian let out another laugh at that and opened the refrigerator to fish out a few beers from the bottom shelf. Just a moment later, John entered the kitchen with a bright smile.

"Roger! I'm actually surprised you turned up. You know, we haven't seen you in ages!" John said sarcastically, sitting across from Roger at the breakfast bar.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic I just swung by a week ago." Roger laughed and Brian set down the beers and sat beside them.

The three of them opened their beers and clunk them together before taking a few sips. Brian was the first to break the comfortable silence between them.

"So about Freddie," Brian said, he then paused to sip his beer before continuing, "How is the bloke? What's he been getting up to in New York?"

"Well, he's been alright. He's only called a few times," Roger said. 

That was a lie but the guys didn't need to know that he and Freddie spoke so often, it might give them ideas to what was actually going on between them.

"He says New York is a strange and filthy city but he still likes it there." Roger continued, "He calls it rubbish and lovely in the same sentence." Roger let out a light laugh and he began to mess with the label on his bottle. 

The other two laughed at that, that really did sound typical of Freddie to say such a thing. There was a brief pause before Roger spoke up again, this time his voice had become much more somber though he tried to mask it with a small smile. 

"He doesn't come back until April." Roger said, "It's not so far but not exactly too close either." 

Roger felt a light-hearted pat on his back from Brian who was kindly smiling over at him.

"Ah don't worry mate, he'll be back before you know it. I have to admit, we miss Fred too." Brian said in an attempt to cheer him up.

John nodded in agreement. Roger appreciated the sentiment but Brian and John didn't understand. They didn't miss Freddie the way he did. Roger gave his friends a silent nod before he took a few more swigs of beer. At that moment, the sound of the telephone ringing in the living room caught all of their attention and Brian quickly stood up. It must have been Chrissie. 

"I've got it," Brian said a bit too enthusiastically before lightly jogging to the living room.

That left Roger and John alone in the kitchen. Roger was in a slight daze as he drank from his now near-empty beer bottle. John took a quick moment to observe his friend in front of him. He could not recall ever seeing Roger so blue before. Especially over something as simple as a friend being gone for a few weeks. In fact, one time, Brian had left the two alone for a month to visit family and Roger had barely batted an eye at that. John was silently trying to piece together what it was about Freddie's absence that made Roger feel this way. Perhaps he was just looking into it too much. Maybe they were just really good friends? Still, John was smart enough to see that it might have been a little more than that. Even though that did sound ridiculous, it wasn't exactly _impossible_.

"Roger, are you alright?" John asked, catching Roger's attention. "I mean you seem really bothered. Is it about Freddie? Is everything alright?"

John's questions had easily startled Roger and he began to fidget from the nerves he was feeling. He had hardly noticed that he was biting into his lip and vigorously peeling at the fading beer bottle label. God, what was he even supposed to say to this? He knew he shouldn't lie and say everything was fine. It would no doubt just make him feel guilty in the end. John wasn't stupid, he would never believe Roger if he simply said everything was dandy. Roger knew that John was just trying to be a good friend and be there to help with whatever he thought was bothering him. But Roger was afraid of telling him the truth and about what was really going on between him and Freddie. He had never even told his friends about his attraction towards men. 

"I'm... I uh.." Roger stammered, trying to find the right words, "Oh, it's nothing, mate." Roger showed a weak smile, he didn't have the guts to tell him, "I'm fine really. Everything's all good."

John eyed Roger up and down, thinking over his suspicious answer. But John was never really too persistent. Roger had never been more grateful for that in his entire life. John nodded with a shrug, still not believing that it was absolutely nothing but not wanting to argue or push Roger either.

Roger sunk slightly in his seat. He felt weak, he felt pathetic. Something about not having the guts to tell John, his best friend, about his attraction to men just bothered him. He and John shared _everything_ with each other. Of course, he shared most of everything with Brian too. But he had always been closer to John for whatever reason. It bothered him that he couldn't confide in the one person who knew nearly everything about him. And it wasn't like he didn't _want_ to tell John, to have this weight be lifted off of him. Admittedly, Roger was just too afraid. It was silly but he was. He was scared to death of the thought of making Brian or John uncomfortable with his sexuality. What if they rejected him and forced him out of their apartment and out of their lives? He couldn't even handle the thought of something like that happening. So for now, it would have to stay a secret. For the time being, he wouldn't talk about the situation between him and Freddie, he wouldn't even give them one reason to believe that he was anything other than straight. No matter how much he wanted to tell John about why Freddie's absence was bothering him so much, it wasn't worth risking their friendship.

* * *

_March 18th, 1974_

It seemed that Monday morning had come far too quickly. Roger hadn't done anything exciting the past two days in Freddie's apartment but still, the days seemed to breeze by. The most exciting part of his weekend was when Tiffany jumped an impressive few feet up to sit on top of the refrigerator. Roger found it rather sad how awestruck he was by it but he figured Freddie would have been just as excited about it if he had been there too. But other than that, the weekend was dull. Short, and dull. 

So far, Monday was looking to be rather dull as well. Roger was leaning against the counter with his arms folded over one another as he stared out of the large shop window. Watching passersby was his only source of entertainment for the time being. There hadn't been a single customer all morning and it was already, Roger glanced at the old clock on the wall, 12:09 pm. That was the thing though with the shop. It was either bustling with shoppers or a deserted wasteland. It seemed as if there was no middle ground. 

Roger looked to the magazine at the end of the counter for the third time that day. He grabbed it with a small sigh and began to flip through its familiar pages. If he wanted to, Roger was sure he could recite some of the pages by heart at that point.

About 20 minutes or so passed before the chimes above the door jingled loudly, indicating that there was a customer. Roger was admittedly absorbed in his magazine once again but he nearly jumped at the startling sound. Honestly, he had never been so eager for a customer to save him from his boredom and he even briefly found himself hoping the customer would talk his ear off. 

"Welcome, how can I-" Roger quickly began.

But as he looked up, his words got caught in his throat and he felt as if he would choke. Roger suddenly found himself gazing into the deep, familiar eyes of the man who had entered the shop. The man in question smiled brightly at Roger, showing off his prominent, distinctive teeth before he called out,

"Blondie!" 


	6. The Big Talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddie has just come back to London and Roger is both excited and terrified to discuss the nature of their relationship.

_March 18th, 1974_

"Freddie..?" The name slipped from Roger's tongue with uncertainty.

Maybe his mind was playing a cruel trick on him. Maybe he'd gone mad from missing Freddie so much. He wasn't fully convinced that he was staring at Freddie who was standing at the shop's door with a smile plastered on his face. How could Freddie be standing here with him, he was _supposed_ to be in New York City for at _least_ another two weeks! 

Freddie was lingering at the entrance of the shop. His lips were parted in a bright smile, teeth on display as his eyes met Roger's gaze. A lighthearted laugh came from his throat as he stared at the blond behind the counter. Roger's blue eyes had gone wide with shock, almost as if he'd seen a ghost and his mouth was slightly ajar. Freddie thought it was simply adorable.

"Now, darling, don't just stand there with your mouth open. You'll catch flies." Freddie joked before dramatically opening his arms, "I've just spent seven hours on a flight, I could use a proper greeting, you know!"

Roger's mind was still overwhelmed with shock but that didn't stop him from leaving the counter and quickly running over to meet Freddie's embrace. The moment they wrapped their arms around each other, Roger knew this wasn't a trick of his imagination. The two practically giggled together like a pair of teenagers while they swayed side to side in their embrace. Neither of them had realized just how much they'd missed each other up until that point. Roger felt a weight lift from his chest as he buried his face in the crook of Freddie's neck. God, the familiar scent of cologne that radiated from Freddie's black and yellow floral jacket was divine. Roger only pulled out of the embrace a few moments later to crash his lips into Freddie's.

Roger could feel that oddly familiar wave of nerves in his stomach, that fluttering that he knew all too well but would never get used to. He missed that sensation. At that point, Roger's hands were resting on Freddie's small waist meanwhile, Freddie had his own delicate hands resting lightly on either side of Roger's neck. It was sad to think that Roger had almost forgotten what Freddie's lips felt like on his. It was a feeling that he wanted to remember forever. Wasting no time, Freddie had even managed to push his tongue past Roger's lips, giving him an opportunity to explore the familiar territory of Roger's mouth. Roger had absolutely no complaints about the sudden action.

Nearly a minute later, the two pulled away from the kiss for some well-needed air. They took a quick moment to look each other over as it had felt like they hadn't seen each other in decades. Oh, Freddie looked divine as usual, so much so that Roger almost felt stunned by his beauty.

"Freddie I can't believe... What on earth are you doing here!?" Roger exclaimed.

"I wanted to surprise you." Freddie giggled, "Darling, I finished up my commission about a week ago which was much earlier than I intended." Freddie paused before he grinned mischievously, "You remember when I called you in the middle of the night a few days ago? I was packing up my things while we talked."

"You absolute cheeky bastard!" Roger said in shock though he was smiling. "I can't believe you're actually here right now! I thought I was going mad for a second there."

Freddie giggled, "You're not mad, I'm really here. And I'm not going anywhere."

Freddie then pecked Roger's lips sweetly. The action had caused Roger's face to heat up but he didn't mind it one bit.

"What time do you get off of work?" Freddie asked, "I'd like for us to catch up. You know spend some quality time together."

There was a slight flirtatious inflection towards the end of Freddie's sentence which left Roger grinning like a fool. Of course, Roger couldn't think of anything he wanted to do more than make out with Freddie on the old sofa in his apartment. And he had a feeling that that was exactly what Freddie had in mind as well. Luckily, his shift ended soon so it wouldn't be too long of a wait until they'd be alone doing as they pleased.

"I get off at 2 o'clock," Roger answered which caused Freddie to groan rather dramatically.

"That's two whole bloody hours from now! I think I might die before that." Freddie complained, "Oh alright then. How about you meet me back in my flat when you get off, hm? I'll try to do a bit of unpacking before you get there. Honestly, I simply threw my luggage down when I got home then came right over here to see you."

"Ah, eager to see me were you?" Roger teased before he nodded at Freddie's plan, "That sounds good though, I'll probably be there around half past two then."

"Perfect."

* * *

The rest of Roger's shift went by painfully slow. Even more so than usual. His excitement made the time go by uncomfortably slow. After Freddie had left the boutique, a few customers showed up, not many though. Roger happily welcomed the distraction. Nearing the end of his shift, Roger attended to a customer who was asking him several questions regarding a shirt she was thinking of purchasing. But Roger just couldn't give her his full attention, his gaze kept traveling to the clock ticking away on the wall behind her.

Roger had never before in his life been so happy to see the familiar redheaded girl who usually took over the next shift. When she walked through the shop door, Roger felt as if he might cry out of pure joy. The girl tried to make some polite small talk but Roger was hardly interested and already hurriedly shoving his arms into his denim jacket.

The drive to Freddie's flat had only taken around 15 minutes considering the fact that Roger was anxiously driving as fast as he could without technically breaking the law. Throughout those 15 minutes, his mind could not stop thinking about holding Freddie close, breathing in his scent once again, and making out with him until the sun went down. For a brief moment, Roger thought about the fact that he had to discuss their relationship now as well. Roger was nervous about it, to say the least. He wanted more of a commitment between him and Freddie and he didn't care how cheesy that sounded. His main concern was that Freddie wouldn't want something as serious as a relationship and he would only reject him. What if the conversation even had the potential of ruining their friendship? It was unlikely but still a possibility. Before he knew it, Roger was bringing a shaky fist up to knock on Freddie's apartment door. 

There were a few shuffling sounds from inside the flat before the door swung open, revealing a grinning Freddie. Roger noticed that the lights in the background were dimmed down, the only real light inside was coming from a window in the living room and the telly.

"Ah, come in, darling. It's about time you've shown up!" Freddie chirped, grabbing Roger's hand to practically pull him inside.

Once inside, Freddie led Roger into the living room that was filled with the unmistakable aroma of takeout.

"Oh, I ordered some Chinese. I figured you'd be hungry after work, I hope you don't mind." Freddie explained.

Roger looked from the brown paper takeaway bag on the coffee table back to Freddie and he showed a gentle smile.

"Chinese sounds terrific," Roger replied and the two sat on the sofa together.

Freddie had taken out a few containers of food from the bag, along with two pairs of chopsticks. They picked something to watch on the telly while they ate though it didn't matter much because 10 minutes into the movie, they'd began to chat, ignoring the telly altogether. Freddie spoke about all of the things he had done and things he had seen in New York City, things he hadn't mentioned over the phone. Admittedly, while Freddie was busy telling a story of a subway encounter, Roger wasn't listening as much as he should have been. His mind was in a blissful daze as he gazed at Freddie's features when he talked.

Oh, he looked amazing, Roger thought. Freddie had always been the most gorgeous person Roger had ever laid eyes on, he didn't think it was possible for anyone to be more attractive than he was. The way his big, brown eyes lit up as he told parts of his story or the way he waved his hands around making wild gestures or even the way his smile would glow when he was really excited or full of joy. Those were all just little things that Roger adored, things he admired about him. For a moment, Roger still could not believe that Freddie was sat there in front of him. He was _really_ here. To think, just this morning, Roger had been counting off the days on the calendar until Freddie came back to London. Yet he was already on a plane at that time. It was such a sweet thing to do, Roger thought, to surprise him by coming home early. There was something about the act that made Roger's heart swell with affection.

Freddie continued to talk while Roger sat there in thought, trying to pay attention. But there was something gnawing at the back of his mind. He had to talk to him about the status of their relationship, he just had to. How would Roger even bring this conversation up? What on earth would he say? Should he be direct about it and flat out say 'Freddie I think you should be my boyfriend'. At what point should Roger even bring this up? This couldn't wait another day or two, Roger promised himself he would say something the moment Freddie got back. And here he was.

"Oh I'm telling you, the tube there is the strangest thing," Freddie said as he wrapped up his story and placed his near-empty food container back down on the coffee table.

Roger quickly snapped back into reality from his whirling thoughts and he nodded in agreement to Freddie's statement. They sat in silence for a moment before Freddie broke it with his gentle voice.

"Darling, you know I... I really missed you." Freddie said, placing a hand over Roger's hand on his thigh.

Their eyes met in a familiar gaze and Roger smiled, his expression softening.

"I missed you too, Freddie." Roger managed to say, thankfully without getting all choked up.

"Can I kiss you?" Freddie asked.

With all the times that they'd kissed and made out, you'd think Freddie would have just gone for it by now. Honestly, Roger thought it was sweet that he asked for permission from time to time. Not many would believe it but Freddie could be a perfect, old fashioned gentleman sometimes. Just one more thing about him that Roger adored.

Roger breathed air out from his nose in a light half-laugh before joking, "Freddie I might actually explode if you _don't_ kiss me."

Freddie's lips tugged into a grin and he quickly leaned forward to press a kiss against Roger's lips. The moment Roger scooted over to get closer to him, Freddie wrapped his arms around Roger's neck. This kiss wasn't a short and sweet one like the one they shared earlier in the shop. No, this one was _passionate_. Their lips were clashing together with hunger and desire for one another. Roger even nearly moaned when Freddie slipped his tongue past his lips.

They reveled in the sweet taste of each other for a few moments before parting their lips for air. Roger was trying to control his heavy breathing when Freddie had suddenly pushed him to lay on the sofa. Roger's heart began hammering away in his chest due to a mix of nerves and excitement. Freddie swung his legs over either side of Roger's body to straddle him and he wasted absolutely no time in leaning down to connect their lips again. Roger quickly parted his lips as an invitation for Freddie's tongue yet again and at the same time, his hands had occupied themselves by caressing Freddie's hips. Their lips moved together hungrily for about a minute or so before Freddie began to feel frisky enough to grind his hips ever so slightly into Roger's. The action nearly made Roger choke but he hardly had room to complain.

Freddie kept up his mischievous actions. Now, he was deliberately pushing his hips into Roger's, the friction was almost too much for both of them. Freddie even turned his attention elsewhere as he began kissing- sometimes even biting- along Roger's neck and jawline. It was clear as day what he was after. However, truthfully, the two of them had never actually gone _beyond_ kissing. They would have some pretty raunchy make out sessions but that's really all it was. For Christ's sake, they'd never even seen each other completely _naked_. It was odd, before Freddie, Roger would pick up girls at the pub nearly every night and take them back to his apartment for a nice shag. But with Freddie it was different. Freddie wasn't just some girl he'd only met to have sex with. No, Freddie was someone who he cared a great deal for. The thought of getting intimate with him made Roger feel strangely nervous. 

Reluctantly, Roger knew that before they even did anything of the sort, he needed to talk to Freddie about where they stood in their relationship. Oh, but with the way Freddie was grinding against him, Roger could hardly even think properly let alone hold a real conversation. Freddie had him feeling as if he were a virgin all over again. 

"Mm blondie..." Freddie nearly moaned out as Roger kissed at a particularly sensitive part of his neck, "Shall we... Shall we move this to the bedroom?"

The sudden question brought Roger's attention back to focus on the task at hand. He pulled away from Freddie's neck to meet his gaze. Oh, Freddie looked simply divine above him, he was grinning madly but trying his best not to let his teeth show. His black hair had gotten messy and it was slumped over his shoulders as he leaned over Roger. There was even a certain glint to his eyes that drove Roger wild.

"A-Actually Freddie," Roger managed to stutter out, "I wanted to talk to you about something..."

Freddie raised an eyebrow, clearly confused. But he nodded and reluctantly tore himself from on top of the blond. Roger had sat up slightly and briefly looked to Freddie before looking down at his hands in his lap. There was a churning feeling in his stomach that almost made him feel sick. He couldn't have been any more nervous. They sat in silence for a moment or two while Roger collected his thoughts and searched for the courage to say anything.

"Well, are you going to say anything, darling?" Freddie piped up from beside Roger.

Okay, this was it, this was Roger's chance. He couldn't let them continue this.. whatever it is without knowing where it was going. It was now or never.

"Freddie I-"

At that exact moment, Roger's shaky voice was interrupted by the loud ringing of the yellow telephone on the coffee table.

"Oh bloody hell, hold on a moment," Freddie muttered, giving Roger an apologetic glance.

Freddie reached over to the table and picked the phone up much to Roger's annoyance. 

"Hello?" Freddie answered as he sunk back down onto the couch. "Oh, Brian, darling! How are you? Yes, I'm well. I've just come back from New York early!"

Of course, it just had to be one of his mates. They always did have a bad habit of unintentionally interrupting Roger with ladies in the past. This, unfortunately, was no exception. Roger turned to Freddie and rested an arm along the top of the couch while he watched him talk. Freddie was grinning madly and twirling the phone cord with one finger like a teenager while he talked.

"Roger? Oh yes, he's here too darling, he's sitting beside me." Freddie pulled the phone away and mouthed 'he called for you' to Roger before returning the phone to his ear, "You're right, the pub sounds like a splendid idea! If you're buying of course." Freddie paused to laugh, "Alright, blondie and I'll meet you in a little while. Bye-bye, darling!"

Freddie pulled the phone away from his ear and leaned forward to put it back on the receiver. At the same time, Roger took a deep breath and tried to pick up from where he left off.

"Okay, so uh, Freddie, I-"

But before Roger could say anymore, Freddie had sprung up from the sofa, leaving Roger utterly confused.

"Come now, the boys will be waiting for us at the pub!" Freddie chirped, "You can tell me whatever it is you have to say while I get changed out of this outfit." He beckoned for Roger to follow him out of the living room but Roger shook his head in protest.

"No, this isn't something I can just talk to you about while you're getting ready," Roger told him, "This is kind of important."

"Only _kind of_ important?" Freddie raised an eyebrow, "Well then we can talk about it after the pub then." Freddie waved off. "Now come help me pick out an outfit, darling."

Roger stood up to face Freddie who at that point was leaning against the living room doorway. This conversation _couldn't_ wait any longer.

"Freddie, please just sit and listen, it _is_ important. Very important. And if I don't talk to you about it now, then I... I don't think I'll ever have the courage to talk to you about it later." Roger explained.

There was a moment of uncomfortable silence between them. Roger's heart was pounding harshly in his chest and his stomach made him feel sick. They met each other's gaze and Freddie began to grin softly as if he _finally_ sensed what the conversation was going to be about.

"I feel like I know what you're going to say," Freddie said, breaking the silence.

"Yea?" Roger breathed.

"Mhm." Freddie nodded, walking over to stand right in front of Roger. "But still, out with it anyway, darling."

Roger's heart was still ringing in his hears at this point. He slowly and hesitantly reached for Freddie's soft hand and guided him to sit on the couch. Once they were both sat next to each other, Roger's blue eyes gazed up to meet Freddie's and for a moment, he felt a tad bit calmer. This was his chance, there was no turning back. Especially with Freddie already _knowing_ what was coming.

"Freddie, this... this isn't easy for me to talk about. I'm not really good with feelings, you know." Roger began, his words seemed to leave his lips before his mind had a chance to think, "These past few months have been bloody amazing and I just... I need to know if this is going anywhere. I mean what we have now this sort of, 'friends who occasionally snog' relationship, it's great but. I want us to be more than that because I care about you _a lot_. More than I've really ever cared for anyone else."

At that point, Freddie was smiling, not even worrying about his teeth and he was practically glowing with delight at Roger's words. That smile was wonderful to see, it was comforting and warm and it made Roger smile in return.

"My, my, Roger Taylor, are you asking me to be your bloody boyfriend?" Freddie teased, cocking an eyebrow.

Roger's face flushed a bright red, "Well yea... But I mean only if you want to, if you don't I'll understand I mean-"

But Freddie had cut him off with a sweet kiss on the lips. When Freddie pulled back, there was a subtle flush upon his cheeks as well. They looked into each other's eyes before breathing out soft half laughs in unison. 

"Roger you cheesy bugger, of course, I want to be in a relationship with you." Freddie grinned and his words were absolutely sincere, "And what took you so long to actually ask me, my dear?"

"I just didn't think you really wanted a _relationship._ I just thought you wanted this to stay casual." Roger admitted, "I thought... I thought that you only wanted to be friends with you know, kissing and all that."

The moment that sentence left his lips, Roger felt Freddie's hands gently cup either side of his face. Their eyes met again and Freddie showed a gentle smile.

"Roger, listen, to me. I do care about you. I care an awfully great deal about you. I've been wanting this for months now too, I suppose I was just too afraid to make the first move." Freddie told him, "I'm actually sorry that we haven't had this conversation sooner."

It was almost like a weight being lifted from Roger's shoulders when he heard the words. All this time that they were just flirting and kissing, they could have been a proper item. The thought was frustrating but honestly, he was just happy with the outcome of the situation.

"So am I." Roger nodded before he grinned, "So.. I get to call you my boyfriend now?"

Freddie nodded and giggled, "Yes, darling. Now your first official act as my boyfriend is to help me pick out an outfit for the pub."

Freddie stood and nearly yanked Roger up from the sofa along with him. Roger could barely protest before he was being led to the bedroom. Something told him that they would be there for a long time while Freddie modeled every item in his wardrobe.

"I didn't know that picking out your outfit was an official 'boyfriend' act." Roger laughed as they made their way down the narrow hallway.

"Are you kidding me? It's the most important thing you can do as my boyfriend!"

Oh, how Roger loved the sound of Freddie calling him his boyfriend. It had such a different effect on him than it did when various girls said it. This time, hearing it made Roger's heart swell with pride. 

_He was Freddie's boyfriend._

He could call this amazing man his own. Never before meeting Freddie had Roger ever accepted his feelings for other men. He always resented his attraction to them. These were feelings that he tried to push to the back of his mind since he was a small child around his friends. His sexuality was always something that he prayed to God to fix about him. But it seemed like it just took a very special person like Freddie to dramatically waltz into his life and change that part of him forever. He had just become Freddie's boyfriend and he had no idea what was in store for them next. It didn't matter so long as they were together. 


End file.
